Can we do Lunner?

Documentation the way it ought to be.

Can we do Lunner?

Andy Johnson-Laird December 29, 2013

Riddle me this: when we eat a late breakfast that sorta kinda doubles as an early lunch, we call it "brunch," right? Makes perfect sense to me. Brunch combines both words in chronological order. Makes no sense to call it "lunfast," right?

So if I want to eat a late lunch that doubles as an early dinner, by the same logic this would be called "lunner."

Yet, when I explain to people that I really want to cut down my calorie intake by having only one main meal other than breakfast, and that I'd like to eat it at 3:00pm, when I say "lunner" they seem, to a person, to want to call it "dinch" instead of "lunner."

What's the problem with lunner? Why the desire to use "dinch?"

"Dinch" is a really, really bad choice. OK, granted, "dinch" is in the Urban Dictionary with the "dinner/lunch" meaning, but it also has the other meanings of "length or width of a penis," an undesirable object/person, and some rather unsavory other meanings with semantics involving nipples, anuses, and vaginas (don't take my word for it, click on the link).

Thus, I would argue that using "dinch" runs the risk of serious ambiguity, broken friendships, and swift kicks to the crotch if you say "let's do dinch tomorrow" to your GF, SO, or TS (total strangers).

The good news is that "lunner" is also in the Urban Dictionary with exactly the right meaning. No secondary meanings, no body parts or lewd acts. Dinchophiles, you are SOL.

Anyhoo, naming convention aside, eating lunner seems like a very rational thing to do. It has the advantage that you don't feel particularly hungry at any point during the day. It also means that, when you do go to bed, your GIT isn't struggling to digest food (and thus keeping you awake), you don't hit your body with calories late in the day when it can't really do much with them except make fat, and you don't have to worry about getting reservations in a restaurant. For the business person it also gets you out of the office at a time of day when it would be unreasonable for you to return afterwards.

Of course, the contra-argument is that it might be a bitch to find a restaurant that stays open through the day, but, certainly in Portland, Oregon, they can be found. Jo Bar & Rotisserie is one of my fave eating places -- it's right next door to Papa Haydn (and shares the same kitchen and owners). I'm sure there are others.

So I can't make breakfast, brunch, lunch, or dinner tomorrow. Can we do lunner?